robertvanoz.com • A Heart's Requiem

ODE TO MR. PUMPKIN / LACRIMOSA
Words & music: Robert van Oz

Hello Mr. Pumpkin
never was afraid of your grin
only was infatuated with
haunting my heart in the dawn

you said I should go to bed
'cause yesterday's saviors are dead
I know my right hand used to be my left instead
so I opened my left again
but it was empty then

Mr. Pumpkin
to the bedlam I have been
and I heard every word
that you cannot save me from myself
so I've gotta find me someone else
who can save me from the nothing I've become
who can save me from drifting along

thanks for the advice
to get along with myself sometimes
and that you made me decide
between Tourniquet and suicide
and then it reaches you
who knows my heart is roaming to?

Mr. Pumpkin
I know I was a bumpkin
but I heard every word
that I have to change a lot
that I've gotta find me a new tin god

Bye-bye Mr. Pumpkin
lately I got afraid of jack-o'-lantern
and when we'll meet again
my hands will still be empty then

Servas a periculum
Servas a maleficum
Lacrimosa
dies illa

VINCENT IN THE MOONYARD
Words & Music: Robert van Oz

maybe you're a thoroughbred
the most reckless in your hive
I have come with sugar bread
but it smacks of bitterness and strife

wild with wilder moods you are
the most ferocious thoroughbred
I hear you chuckle from afar
there is nothing I would regret

Monday 6 a.m.
don't know who you are again

the crop was poor and the winter was hard
it enraged my lionheart
Vincent, you never make it in the Moonyard

"I have my breakfast in bed
with lots of candy and flummery"
says the precious thoroughbred
whose deep thoughts made him so haughty

Tuesday 6 a.m.
don't know who are again

the crop was poor...

THE TIPTOE SONG
Words & Music: Robert van Oz

you and me
for eternity
Hocus Pocus
wonderfully delirious

taking my last ride
to the eastern orchard side
where you told me that you loved me
I didn't care, 'cause I didn't dare
to tell you that I loved you too

the day you came by
with nothing on your lips than our lullaby
(I want to be with you
lying cold and buried in the ground - we two)

then tiptoe over the meadows
through brooks that are shallow
screamed your name
in the wood, in the rain
that was so cooling on my face
but it couldn't erase
that you lost your pride
your delight
please say that you're alright

the day you came by...

my dearest brother
guess I miss you now
guess it kills me somehow
they said you'd sleep well
heard the tolling of the knell
it will always be
you and me

there's nothing I could cry
nothing I could sob or sigh
than our lullaby

FIR TREE LOG
Words & Music: Robert van Oz

do you really think I didn't see you
I've found you, it's your turn
but take care of this fir tree log
I stumbled over in the fog

I so scared of the silence that's left
hammering on my head

I on the stairway
you on the carpet
smashed up
fallen to ground mechanically

I don't know what you're doing today
hope you feel good in a retarded way
saw you last week in the fog
stumbling over this fir tree log

HELLO LUCIFER ( * 03.02.2005)
Words & Music: Robert van Oz

hello Lucifer
my heartship became a hardship
heart has tripped and belief was ripped
this is how I found you,
the wisdom in my wounds
so I burned all my poetry
and the picture that was so sacred to me

hello Lucifer
your face always blurry
now is so clear to me
and if you lend me your pyre
I will burn all your blame in the fire
and if all that leaves is coming back
will I choke on my Easter eggs?

I don't need no disintegration
I celebrate my reincarnation
I never dared to read my epitaph
Lucifer, don't you blow the gaff

hello Lucifer
I found my place in your beehive
I'll stay here for the rest of my life
and
I'm
down to the grottos
to the suburban ghettos
crawling through the blades of roses
cutting my pantyhose

PERSEPHONE YOUR GLOW
Words & Music: Robert van Oz

through the foam I scout
the prettiest arch angels fallen from their cloud
do you still play in the stovepipe?
I didn't receive your vicious vibes
I always was your hugest fan
pining between the fire and the frying pan

show me fire, eternal blaze
smouldering embers, melting gaze
Persephone, show me your glow
even though it's my urge to go

you beautiful devil
won't you take me with you?
you with your fucking soul
never saw Persephone in this hole
you said I had a nice cape
then you tried to escape
but I caught you in the drizzle here
to apologise to not to sizzle here

do you still play there surrounded by all the soot?
meanwhile I've gone back to my roots
in the foam
all alone

sometimes at night I'm still thinking of you
sometimes at night it's as if someone's
plaintively playing
in the stovepipe

BOYS IN THE TREES
Words & Music: Robert van Oz

suburban boys in the trees
always brought me onto my knees
all those boys used to hate me
thought I'd take their lives away
their games with the girls
always stood in their back
with the beauty of the pain in the world

stood at the brim
when everything turned around them
at the brim of their whirl
with the beauty of the pain in the world

those beautiful people
let them crash down the steeple
let them have a rainy day
let the rain wash their perfect mugs away

never was one of the beautiful,
the malicious and deceitful
was something in the primary years
before I was eaten up by all my fears
though they made me cry
I still liked to die for being somebody
instead of nobody

I can hear them calling me many things
I'd like to destroy their haloes and wings
and their porcelain faces
they're hiding behind Christian phrases

those beautiful people...

6.44 I wanna be more
they all grow tall and handsome
they're gonna wear the uniform
and I stayed back
in my little crooked shack
watching those false gods
putting their dramas on
6.45 I'm still alive

those beautiful people
let them crash down the steeple
let the rain
wash me clean of them

suburban boys in the trees
still bring me onto my knees

MARY OF SUBURBIA
Words & Music: Robert van Oz
Contains a sample of "Tourdion" after Pierre Attaingnant, 1530

some say she was in love with a Punk star
some say just because of his big car
there she goes, there she goes, Mary of Suburbia

Mary, you've got torn nylons
saw you in the parking lot with that Punk God
but you've never born his son
Mary, you have the prettiest petticoat
so I sent you the lines I never wrote
I'm going to lose my sanity
Mary, you've got a torn prom-dress, too
what has he done to you?

some say she couldn't be sacred anymore
some say she's all they ever longed for
there she goes, there she goes, Mary from next door

Mary, you've born Mrs. Jesus
last weekend in Elmer Fudd's backyard
and your hair it was filling up the sky
Mary, you're still his little maiden
and maybe I'll meet you once again
Mary, you left us barefoot without a rosary
but the Punk God's victim - she is free

some say she was the only light in town
some say the only light he ever found
don't you go, don't you go, Mary we need you so
we've got enough pagan Gods to pray to
but we've got no woman like you

there she leaves, there she leaves,
Mary of Suburbia

NO ANGEL CAME
Words & Music: Robert van Oz

certain those clouds just roll by
so that I can see the perfect sky
you're lying on the lawn next to me
do we really end up right here?

In the last spring breeze I caught a summer sneeze
In the deepest spring haze I caught a summer daze
Sky opened up to heal but no angel came

angels I don't miss you descending to me
but it's hard to wear a smile constantly
sometimes my scratch hurts a little more
but the worst hurt is the scratching on your door

In the last spring breeze...

I'm insecure if I caught another sneeze
if I'm marooned without air to breathe
underneath a perfectly broken sky
where my illusions are rolling by

In the last spring breeze...

POOL
Words & Music: Robert van Oz

it's getting cold outside
you're still in the pool
you're quivering and freezing
but you'd never give up, never
always admired your stubbornness
watching you restless

honey, I'm crying piteously so close to you
honey, if you look at me I'll smile again
honey, we're freezing but we're laughing
honey, time has passed by

it's gotten cold outside
you've given up without a sound
let me drown myself in the pool
into teardrops and morning dew, into you
I have to dry you now
and you to calm me down

honey,...

promise that you'll always be
with my suffering and me
and now my lungs are crying out for you
in their saddest tune
put on your loveliest smile
take me away with it for a while

there are some replies and I hold you tight
keeps us warm at the pool tonight
I don't dare to breathe
it could change my memories
I cry I love you
you only stare at the pool

BITTERSWEET
Words & Music: Robert van Oz

here I stand
with a razorblade in my hand
it doesn't hurt me
'cause I forgot how to feel

the more I try to change
the more I stay the same
and just in vain
I threaten the rain

at the edge of the world
right there in this minute
I know who you really are
I know there's no Hallelujah

you say that you love this life
especially when it stabs you with a knife
you say that people judge your actions harder than their own
and they can cut you down with a simple frown

at the edge of the world
when the wind blows through your curls
I can be everything that you want me to be
if you just say that you wanna rest here with me

here I stand
with a razorblade in my hand
although I hurt myself today
you lost your spell, your sway

how bittersweet
what a bittersweet day
on which I can say
I'm okay
I'm okay

THE SPRAINED HEART
Words & Music: Robert van Oz

bruise and grind it
put it through the mincer
squeeze and spin it
through the mill until it keeps still

healing machines
blueprints, gears and schemes
today it's not broken
today it's only sprained

INSIGHT
Words & Music: Robert van Oz

Ich bin so müde...